Wilt The Rose
by Fifth Horseman
Summary: She did the best that she could, but just how long could one fifteen year old girl carry the weight of responsibility and loss without cracking?


Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth. I own nothing of it and am only playing in this wonderful world Monty gave us.

Just a little fic that came to me over the weekend. Probably nothing much or anything anyone will care much about since it's not a shipping fic.

 **Wilt The Rose**

The bathroom door closed quietly and she leaned back against it, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh as her silver eyes closed for a moment. She felt a little worn and a little tired and it had little to do with her recently completed long journey to Mistral or the day's training, although it certainly was part of it. Most of her fatigue came from the talk she had before dinner with Oscar. The words she had spoken were the truth and had opened up the wounds anew, but it also brought with it all of the self doubt and angst she had been carrying all along.

Going about her business, she set her bathing supplies down inside the shower and laid her neatly folded pyjamas down on the counter next to the sink before beginning to undress. Each item was neatly folded and set aside out of the way atop the laundry hamper. When she finished she started the shower to let it warm up then simply stood for a moment looking into the mirror, looking into her own eyes. She wasn't really sure what she was expecting to see there or just exactly what is was she was really looking for, but she did know that there was something different there than there had been months ago and as with all things some of it was good, some of it not so good.

Blake had been right that first night at Beacon. Real life was far different from the fairy tales. She thought that she understood that but she had a much more stark understanding of that now than she did then. That lesson had truly begun to sink in during the attack on Beacon and was ongoing right up to this moment, and one of the greatest lessons she was learning was that when your idealism ran headlong into reality, reality won. It was both the irresistible force and the immovable object and no amount of wishing it otherwise was going to change it.

She stepped into the shower and stood under the flowing water, letting the heat work on the little aches she had accumulated from her recent training. Aura was wonderful for keeping you from getting hurt and in helping you to heal faster, but you still racked up a good scorecard of aches and pains from getting banged around and overworking your muscles. Those aches were a good reminder to her of Oscar...Ozpin's assessment that she needed to do a lot of work on fighting without her weapon. Nothing illustrated that better than actually taking shots in the face from Oscar who had never really fought much before, or taking a headbutt under the chin when Ozpin took over. Although, that should not have been the time for it to finally get into her head that she did indeed need to learn how to fight without Crescent Rose.

Mountain Glenn, finding herself at the mercy of two White Fang goons after she fell through the street and landed on top of that building in the underground city should have been enough of a wake up call. The punch she had thrown might as well have been a polite tap and she had been unable to block any of the shots she took. It was the same on top of that airship during the attack on Beacon. She had been barely holding her own even with her weapon but after being separated from it Torchwick had knocked her around with ease and if it wasn't for that Grimm eating him at the most opportune moment, she would have ended up dead.

Somehow though it wasn't until Ozpin told her flat out that she finally realized the truth that she was far too reliant on Crescent Rose. She was proud of her skills with her sweetheart and could handle most Grimm with ease. The bigger, older ones were tougher but she was only just getting started in her training as a Huntress and would get even better. But by that same standard she was way behind in her abilities in unarmed combat and as much as she didn't want to admit it the evidence was pretty clearly against her. She had spent so much of her time on learning to use Crescent Rose that she had neglected just about everything else aside from using her Semblance. Uncle Qrow had tried to get that through to her and so had Yang but she had never taken it seriously. Why did she need to learn to fight with her fists and feet when she had her sweetheart?

Did being two years younger than even the rest of the first years...and all of her friends, make her that naive about everything and so unprepared for it? Was she really that far behind them? The realities and truths of the world around her were overwhelming and hard to digest but she tried really hard to keep a positive outlook. Not just for herself but for the others around her, even the people who she knew had more experience out in the world than she did. She was supposed to be a leader and part of being a leader was to keep up the spirits of her team mates. Even if the people she was fighting alongside weren't her team.

Jaune, Ren, Nora...they had never said or done anything to make her believe that she didn't belong with them. But to her the hole she was filling in their ranks was enormous and one that she was not worthy of filling. Someday she might be as skilled if she worked hard enough, she hoped, but she wasn't Pyrrha Nikos and she could never be Pyrrha Nikos. She could only be Ruby Rose and be there for them and do whatever she could to help them in her absence. How could she do anything else when she was the one that dragged them into this. Jaune said they followed her because they wanted to but she still felt like she had pulled them into something that was beyond all of them, especially after what Uncle Qrow had told them. She couldn't help but feel that she was letting Pyrrha down by dragging her team into such danger on what could very well be a fools mission that she had jumped into with both feet and her eyes closed.

Despite the tangles that she and her team had had with both Roman Torchwick and the White Fang, it was the attack on Beacon that really began to open her eyes to the much bigger and much more dangerous world around her. It wasn't just Grimm they were fighting. Sure, she knew that Huntsmen and Huntresses also fought criminals and terrorists like Torchwick and the White Fang, but somehow she never made the connection that the thief or others like him and those in the Fang may have trained as Huntsmen themselves. This life wasn't just about fighting Grimm, it was also about fighting people with the same training as her who had chose to live on the other side of the law.

That had been shown to her in vivid, living, and terrifying colour when they were attacked by Tyrian. She couldn't touch him, none of them could and if not for her Uncle she would have been either dead or captured. She hadn't even had sense enough to recognize her own limitations, instead believing that her determination would make up the difference. Because she insisted upon helping to fight someone who so badly over matched her, she got in the way and Qrow ended up getting hurt and they were lucky to get to Mistral before the poison took his life. She loved her Uncle dearly and the thought of how close he came to death and that her interference had allowed him to get hurt nearly made her hyperventilate every time she thought of it.

She shook herself out of that particular thought and reached for her shampoo and began lathering her hair, but there were other thoughts circulating in her mind that refused to leave her and they were due to her talk with Oscar. Penny and Pyrrha were beloved friends and she hadn't been able to do anything to help them, to prevent their deaths. Because of her inability to fight without her weapon she couldn't fight off Mercury which meant she couldn't interrupt the match and save Penny. She couldn't save Pyrrha from the horror of what she had been tricked into doing. She was just a hair too slow to be able to help Pyrrha and instead she had to watch Cinder take her life.

She missed them both so much and regretted that she didn't know them better and that she hadn't been able to spend more time with them. She was fascinated by what Penny was and she wanted to be able to help her experience all of the things about life that she wanted to know. After hearing the story about Pyrrha and the maiden though she couldn't help but wonder who's soul had been given to Penny. It was just like she had told her, she could feel that she had a soul, but it wasn't until she heard about Amber that she ever thought to question how a machine could possibly have a soul to begin with. But instead of getting to be her friend and make memories with her, she had to see her die, torn apart just to send a message.

She had looked up to Pyrrha so much, but thankfully she hadn't been a nerd about it. After finding out about how isolated and lonely her fame had made the redhead, she was glad she hadn't geeked out on her and done something stupid like ask for her autograph like she had been tempted, but too scared to do. Pyrrha was so nice, and she was beautiful, and she was so skilled already. She was humble and always wanted to help out. She was what she wanted to be as a Huntress. She hadn't been able to help her either and she had to helplessly watch her die, burned from the inside out until there was nothing left.

Her eyes began to burn and water but she tried to ignore it. She began to shake and clutched her arms around herself to help stifle the sobs that threatened to come. She had tried so hard not to fall apart when they were travelling. The others were suffering from her loss too and doing their best to cope and she didn't want to add to their burden. She did her best to be strong and not give them anything else to worry about. She didn't dare tell them about the strange dreams she was having where she kept hearing Pyrrha's voice, especially after she saw Jaune training to the video Pyrrha had left on his scroll. At that moment she saw that his pain over Pyrrha's death was worse than she had known. It became obvious even to her that Jaune had loved her and it made her inability to help her make her feel even worse.

They were grieving and she had talked them into walking all the way to Mistral in the slim hope that they might find some answers at Haven Academy. And for good measure along the way Ren and Nora had been forced to revisit the site of their worst memories. Jaune said they had followed her because they wanted to and that she had lost even more than they had but she was still out here trying to make a difference. Maybe that was true but it didn't make her feel much better about it. Maybe she was just too determined to blame herself.

It was also true that she hadn't properly taken the time to grieve for Penny or for Pyyrha and that was what was causing this right here in this moment, but it wasn't just her ever present thoughts of them that weighed heavily on her. It was the scattering of her own team and she couldn't help but blame herself for that as well. If she hadn't gone off on her own again she would have been able to help the rest of them. Maybe then both Blake and Yang wouldn't have gotten hurt. Maybe if they had all been together they could have had her back and Weiss's father wouldn't have been able to force her to go back home with him.

She didn't know much about her partner's home life, she had never shared much about it with them, but she had the impression that her relationship with her father wasn't a good one. Maybe that was why she came to Beacon rather than going to the academy in Atlas, to put some distance between them. They certainly hadn't gotten off to a good start, and even if Weiss would never admit to it she knew that they really were friends now. She probably would have told her that this trip was a stupid idea, but she was willing to bet that she would have come with them anyway, might have even groused about it the whole way but she would have stuck with them and she would have been so happy to have her partner at her side.

She couldn't understand why Blake ran away again. She thought that they had given the faunus girl a place where she felt she belonged, a place where she didn't have to feel alone or look over her shoulder all the time. She and Weiss were the voices of reason to her and Yang's more rash spur of the moment actions. She was like family to them and they cared about her a lot, especially Yang who took things like that very seriously. Did she blame herself for what happened to Yang because it was someone from her past with the White Fang that did it? Didn't she know that they would never blame her for that?

She was unable to contain herself anymore and the dam broke. Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her hands and knees and began sobbing. Yang. She could never forget the sight of her big sister lying unconscious on the ground, a bloody bandaged stump where her right arm had been. She was her invincible big sister, nothing ever hurt her. She saw a Paladin smash her through a concrete highway pillar and it didn't even slow her down. But when she saw her sitting in the bed and staring out the window looking so lost...it broke her heart. Yang was always the one that was happy and energetic and picked her up when she was down. And she was so angry with Blake.

She hadn't known what to do. Yang had always done so much for her but she didn't know what to do to help her, to make her feel better. Yang made it obvious that she wanted to be alone and her heartfelt 'I love you' went unanswered. Instead of staying and trying to do something for her, she left. She left the big sister who had always been there for her behind, abandoning her just like her partner had. It was something that she thought about all the time and she knew that Yang must be just as angry with her as she was with Blake and that made her feel sick. She should have stayed. She should have been there to look after her and support her instead of traipsing off across the world like some stupid little kid that was going to save it all by herself and bring the bad guys to justice like she was living out one of those old hero stories she loved so much.

But if she did, then what? Would she be able to live with herself if she had stayed home? Even if she was still just a first year trainee, what kind of a Huntress would she be if she _didn't_ take off for Mistral and follow the only leads they had on Cinder and the others? She couldn't just sit back while the people that had done such horrible things ran loose to do more.

She struggled back to her feet and tried to regain her composure. It wasn't easy with her legs shaking, her whole body trembling, and her breath hitching. This break down may have been a long time coming but she couldn't let it continue any longer otherwise she would be useless to everyone. She had lost Penny and Pyrrha, there was nothing she could do about that except hold fond memories of them and carry on like she knew they would have if she had been the one to die. If she continued to play the 'what if' game she would drive herself to insanity. The same went for Yang. She would just have to live with whatever the consequences were for leaving her behind. And she would. If Yang was angry with her she would deserve every word she had to say about it. It would hurt, it would hurt worse than anything else ever could, but she would take it.

But she also had a job to do and part of that job was to get stronger and get better so that she didn't lose anyone else and didn't become a burden to them. If they didn't defeat Salem then none of them would be alive to hold each other accountable or to happily come back together for that matter. Her pains and fears were nothing in the face of that and she couldn't expect the others to continue to follow her on this adventure if she started acting like a weepy and scared child. Although, she didn't think that was going to be a problem. After hearing what was at stake from Uncle Qrow they all seemed to have resolved themselves to carry this fight and she was so proud to be a part of it with them. Of course, even if it was just her and Qrow alone she would still carry this fight. She had told Oscar the truth. She was scared. They all were but that fear might just be what helped more than anything else to keep them alive.

She stood up straight and willed the shaking to stop, bringing forth her resolve as if it were a second Semblance. Her name was Ruby Rose, her family legacy was that of the Huntsman and the Huntress and a Huntress was all she had ever wanted to be. She had lost dear friends and she would continue to fight in their name and in their memory. Her team had been scattered and she hoped to see them all reunited one day and she believed in her heart that they would be. She fought alongside people that had become even closer to her than before during this journey and she was determined to not let any of them down. It was an honour to fight along side them and while she certainly could not replace their lost member, she could do her the favour of watching out for them in her stead to the best of her ability. She was going to keep moving forward, no matter what and she was never going to stop.

She let the water wash away the remaining tears and finished her shower. As she dried herself off she found herself looking in the mirror again, looking deeply once more into her own silver eyes. She was probably even more tired now than when she came in but the burden somehow felt lighter and she felt a little more sure of herself once again. Her eyes looked sharper, more focused and determined. Her purpose was clear once again and not clouded with doubt. No matter how hard or how scary it was she was going to continue to move forward, right through Salem and beyond because there was no other way that was acceptable.

She hung up her towel and put on her pyjamas. Gathering her clothes off the hamper she exited the bathroom but came to a sudden stop when she saw Nora, Jaune, and Ren waiting for her.

Her eyes went wide. "I'm sorry! I...I guess I was in there too long. I didn't mean to make you all have to wait..."

Anything else she wanted to blurt out was cut off when Nora leaned in and looked into her eyes.

"I swear, I didn't use all the hot water!"

Nora's finger touched her lips, causing her to stop again and she continued to look into her eyes. She didn't know what was going on but she didn't look away, doing her best to meet the lightning girl's gaze and look back into her aqua coloured eyes.

"It's about time!" the hammer wielder said, startling her with the suddenness of it.

"What..?" she gaped.

"You had to let go of it all at some point Ruby," Ren said gently, offering her an equally gentle and understanding smile.

Her eyes widened. She squeezed her bundle of clothes tightly to her chest and shrank in on herself. "You...you heard..."

"We were worried about you Ruby," Jaune said, a sense of understanding in his voice. "We know you were trying to be strong for us and we appreciate that, we really do. But you need to let us be strong for you too."

"We know that you feel like you dragged us along, but it's like Jaune told you before," Ren said. "We came with you because we wanted to. We feel the same way you do and we want to do what we can. It's why we all came to Beacon in the first place."

"We're with you all the way Ruby," Nora said in a surprisingly quiet and serious voice. "No matter what. You're one of us and you always will be and we'll follow you anywhere."

Her eyes began to moisten again. "You guys...thank you. Thank you so much."

She found herself embraced by her friends and it felt like even more of the weight she had been feeling before was disappearing and her resolve only grew. They believed in her and they accepted her wholeheartedly as one of their own. At times she had felt like an intruder but they didn't see her that way and their friendship and support meant more to her than she could put into words. They were in this together and they would all keep moving forward together.

At the end of the hall Qrow simply turned and walked back to the living room, a small smile on his face.


End file.
